Green jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
So, there were kids in the bus, and half of them were white, and the other half was black.
All the kids wanted to sit at the back, so the bus driver said to all the kids, "Stop fighting. From now on, everyone is now green." So, the bus driver said to all the kids, "Dark green go to the front, and light green at the back."
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.