Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
Grandma Jokes
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
You, I didn’t see you there. The pizza place is hunted bad, so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma, and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁. The end or is it bye-bye?
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
