Grammar jokes
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Does this sentence make any sense?
Spell "I cup."
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.
There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
It's supposed to say "goes," not "goes."
Spell "I cup."
I C U P
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."