Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Government Jokes
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Politics.
The last two presidents of the US.
Why canโt U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesnโt have a queen.
I am your leader.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Communism is actually kinda tight.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
Thereโs no hope.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, โI am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!โ
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, โWho were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?โ
The man responds, โOf course, I was thinking about Hitler!โ
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, โWho were YOU thinking about?โ
Whatโs the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You canโt milk the cow after 12 years.
What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?
Libertarian Party.
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.
