Government jokes
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Make America Great Britain again!
NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!