Government jokes

Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?

Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?

Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

What do you call a guy that lies a lot?

The president.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

Biden and Trump.

That's it. That's the joke.

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?

Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.

Bush is innocent, he's white...

Why is Texas the worst state ever?

They only have one star.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?

They both have eyes.

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

Russia is worse than the USSR.

Russia is just a bonerless USSR.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

What's the difference between me and the rest of America?

I love one and hate the other.

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"