Government jokes
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
Memes
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"