Government jokes
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
Why didn't Donald Trump build the wall?
Because Mexicans did not and would not build the damn wall!
Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.