Government jokes
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.
What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.
Bush is innocent, he's white...
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
Biden did 9/10.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.