Government Jokes

Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.

The image shows text that reads: "Government: Tobacco is dangerous. You need to be 21 to buy it. Also government *sending military recruiters to high schools*:". Below this text is a picture of a man with white hair wearing a red blazer with an excited expression, saying, "Hi kids! Do you like violence?"

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.

How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

An old man gets a call from the IRS.

The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”