Government jokes
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Hillary Clinton
Trump.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Donald Trump.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.