Government jokes
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
This is American politics that is not true.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Gun control...
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.