Government jokes
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
This is American politics that is not true.
Who is king of the insects? The Monarch.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Gun control...
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.