Gonna jokes

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!

TONIGHT

FOR FUN

YEAH YEAH YEAH

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?

It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).