Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit faced. Almost closing time brother you gonna snag yeah I'm taking her home he walks over she gathers her things. Walking out together he takes her to his car outback they stay messing around then start having sex he starts to get carried away he looks at down at her she looks up at him and says slow down cousin your going to fast...
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
