I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger ;)
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
A special quote : “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”
gas gas gas i'm gonna step on your ass TONIGHT FOR FUN YEAH YEAH YEAH
Why emo grass is better then normal grass? Emo grass gonna cut themself
Never give up cuz never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down never gonna run around and desert you never gonna make you cry never gonna say good bye never gonna desert you
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
NEVA GONNA GIVE U UP
I was gonna walk up to a emo and say do you get jealous when your phone dies
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant Joke
But it would just Crash And Burn
why can't orphans fail a test because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it
Tell someone that your gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo (Them) I 2 poopoo (You) I 3 poopoo (Them ) I 4 poopoo (You)I 5 poopoo (Them) I 6 poopoo (You) I 7 poopoo (Them) I 8 poopoo (And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”)
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree witch one is gonna land first ? The leaf because the rope stops the emo kid
why are orphans so naughty at school its not like the teacher is gonna call theyre parents
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
