God's Will Jokes

[god creating a jellyfish] God: how about an evil bag

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Not all roses are red not all violets are blue if you're reading this God loves you

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find God he'll help you!" and than the man said “There’s only one way to get to God and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?”

“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”

I saw a kid crying i asked him whats wrong,where are your parents. They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

What did God say when he made Jake Paul?

Oops, I made a mistake.

I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I think God is cool with abortion

After all, he did kill his only son

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic. Next, google 'God in Aramaic'. See the results for yourself. <3

yo mama so slow she took nine months to make the joke, thank god mine only took 6

My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad oh my god

God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing

Men and women are not equal. Speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable. (Sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell? We're not sexist men, you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, man were created before woman. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Adam and eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?" Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." so adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?" God says, " You are what you are." Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."