Go jokes
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
You are all going to be pun-ished!
"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn his ABCs (All 'Bout Cash)!
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."