Go jokes
Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
What is going on here?
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
"Roses are red, shut up and go to bed."
Attention to everyone, I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because I was in a bike accident, or more like a motorcycle accident. I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause, well, you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."