A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Why do some couples go to the gym together? Because they want their relationship to work out.
"Where do young trees go to learn?" "Elementree school."
where did the children go after he step on the land mine
there, there, over there, and over here to
A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty
Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house. So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard, one said “ what tree?” I replied “you’ll know when you get here”
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Q why do I always see does to gay men in the roundabout
A they couldn’t go straight
wanna go to suicide school then time travel to Hitler's bunker and aski him to teach you
Yo mama so ugly she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Husband: Dammit alice! I'm your husband and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you! Wife: Go to hell Bob! I'm Leaving! Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
I went home one day a see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what going on my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guest what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
Why did the fish go to the doctors?
Because he was felling “eel”
Your hairline go so far back it went back to when earth was created.
