Girlfriend Jokes

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa

why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

because he thought that she would leave him to.

Boy: my girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her...

Off the nearby cliff

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. -- But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*

My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She's 7

How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ?

you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth..

sorry

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said "but the world is round"

I said, babe you are my world.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices

A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons

my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time

What's the worst part of Breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.