Girlfriend Jokes

My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

Fill it out if u want

A list of possible life experiences with checkboxes, titled "#THINGS I HAVE DONE PROJECT". The experiences are categorized into emotional, social, and health-related items. Some examples are: "Been in Love", "Broken Hearts", "Had Sex", "Been to Jail", "Been Bullied", "Been Depressed", "Have/Had an Addiction", "Attempted Suicide", "Overdosed", "Seen a Therapist", "Have Other Mental Disorders". The text "@violetsunlight7" is on the right side of the image.

A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.

Like if you're not a gay.

Dislike if you're furry.

Repost if you HATE blacks.

Comment for VBUCKS.

Sub to me on YouTube, it's my friend and he has aids, send him joeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."

Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."