a man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night and she said chinese food, so he took her to china. The next night, he asked her again, she said indian, so he took her to india. The next night, he asked her again, she said, "Nothin." so he took her to africa
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
I broke up with my girlfriend so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back.
I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don't stand up for her in fights I don't care she use to push me around all the time
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
my new girl friend is a porn star she would probably kill me if she found out
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheel chair, she'll come crawling back.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what's that, she said I fuck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh
I don't think my gf likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
What's the worst part of Breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six year old.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.