Girlfriend jokes

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.

Like if you're not a gay.

Dislike if you're furry.

Repost if you HATE blacks.

Comment for VBUCKS.

Sub to me on YouTube, it's my friend and he has aids, send him joeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."

Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

A: Will you marrow me?

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.