How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man do I love being a sniper.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend..? come
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: your both!
Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ?
you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth..
sorry
why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
because he thought that she would leave him to.
One day I got home and told my girlfriend "I cheated on you." she replied with "F**k you" I then said "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
