Girl

Girl Jokes

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have another pair of balls.

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.