Ghost jokes
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"