Get jokes

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

How to get quick cash:

Step 1: Kill a child's parents.

Step 2: Do foster care for them.

Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

James: I have a joke. Sex!

Ronny: I don't get it.

James: Exactly.

What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

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How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.