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Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Why is my dick like a balloon? The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Hi everyone that is mean to freshfry, Addison Banks, Drew, watersharky, Gwen, and jk master, fucking get off this site, bullies! I love everyone here except the bullies!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.