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Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?
The apples actually get picked.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"