Get jokes
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!
What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.