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Genie

    • A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”

  • 3

    • Cake

    • Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

    So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

    So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

  • 0

    • Japan

    • Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

    Friend 1: “Yeah.”

    Friend 2: “Yea.”

    Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

    Friend 3: “I love anime.”

    Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

  • 3
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    Handicap

    • What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?

    Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.

  • 0

    • Friend

    • Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

    Friend 2: Me neither.

    Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

    Friend 1: *jumps*

    Friend 2: *jumps*

    Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

    Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

  • 0

    • Dollar

    • Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

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    • Lesbian

    • What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

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    • Sexual Relationship

    • I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

    Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

  • 7

    • Sex

    • If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

  • 3

    • Grade

    • When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

    When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

  • 0

    • Catholic priest

    • What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

  • 1

    • Boy

    • Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.

    What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

    Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

    Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.

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