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What's the same about bins and orphans? They get dumped.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
Get off of here, kids!
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.