Get jokes
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Memes
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?
Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!