Get jokes

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

Why did the hobo cross the road?

To get the rotten donut on the other side.

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school?

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

Why are farts a nice break for emos?

They get to cut cheese.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.

Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?

A: Chicken noodle suwoop.

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Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!