Get jokes

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

What's the difference between me and Spongebob?

Spongebob can actually get ripped.

You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.

My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"

My bully. 😭

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked at least.

Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.

Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"

Poettschke: "Please get away from me."

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.

When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?

Touch base.

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.