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Wrinkle

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

People

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

Trio

Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!

Memes

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Worst joke ever.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?

Fish

What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?

"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."

People

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

Science Teacher

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Wife

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Mom

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Special needs

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

December

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.