Get jokes
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Memes
Get noob.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked at least.
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.