Get jokes

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.

What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?

Pizza deliveries get their orders right.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.

What disease do you get from eating fish?

Salmonella!

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.