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A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

Why do orphans get an iPhone X?

Because they have no home button.

Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple actually gets picked.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?