Get jokes
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.