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How did the orphan lose its parents?

Its parents never came back from getting milk.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?

'Cause they can't elope.

Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?

Because they always get a hole in one!

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?

Hint: he didn’t.

What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?

You get salmonella.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What did one orphan say to another?

"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Want to hear a joke?

My life. Get it?

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?