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Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Why are there gates on a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get inside. Lol
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.