Get jokes

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?

Stupid kid: No.

Bully: You should go get one!

Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

What's a bonus of being an orphan?

You can't get homework.

Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.

An apple gets picked.

Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Why did the dinosaur take a bath?

So it can get ex-stinked!

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.

Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

A: One of them gets picked.