Get jokes
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
Memes
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Where do orphans get stuff from?
The reject shop.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.
Why did the Twin Towers get mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!