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What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

Emos get jealous when their phone dies.

You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

Jokes are like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.

How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?

Act like a nut.

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?