Get jokes
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
when charmander gets old
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.