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Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?