Get jokes
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Memes
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
What's the difference between an orphan and a trash bag?
At least the trash bag gets picked.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"