Get jokes
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.