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What's the difference between an orphan and a trash bag?

At least the trash bag gets picked.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked!

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

What is an orphan's dream?

To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣

Jokes are like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.

What does a nosey pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business!

Dad joke.

Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?

Because of a hole in one!

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?

A dictator.

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.