Get jokes

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

For fingering the minor.

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

What do dark humor and food have in common?

Some get it, some don't.

Heaven is like university: no one gets in.

Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!