Get jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.