Get jokes
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Memes
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.