what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.
*on a date* me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - "I'm a butcher."
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair? You turn it upside down
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*
What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I do t get why cancer is so hard to beat. I’m already on stage 4
Amber Heard’s Morning Routine
Wake Up Eat Breakfast Take a Shit Get Out of Bed
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road? A: To get to the airport
why did the russian cross the road?
to get to the other side
Why did the guy get the hose
Because the girl was smoking hot
How did Stephen hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
when dwarfs get high do they just get medium?
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
My arm: IM GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT
When midgets smoke weed do they get high or do they get medium
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily! Get it? I don't either- I get the New York Times!
