Get jokes
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?
It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.