You’re mamma’s so ugly, even the toaster wouldn’t get in the bathtub with her.
My life
Tell me when you get it
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped? alien vs predator
yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way
Why did sally get a black eye? - She tried to play patty cake
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and to lazy to get his butt off the couch.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
why did the depressed person cross the road.
to get ran over.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
What did Stephen hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh fuck I can’t get up them
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
I don't like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
