My arm: IM GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT
Q: W hat did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross? A: Owwww!!!!!!!
Yo mama is so fat it took Nation Wide 15 years to get on her side.
Q: Why did the Orphan get an IPhone X for their birthday?
A: Cause it don’t have a home button
The teacher asks her class "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says "sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 woman what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said how the fuck did you get in here? 😂😂😂
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?" Father:"FUCK THE CHILDREN" Preist:" Do you think we'll have time?"
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
will my suicidal thoughts, leave me too if i get attached to em?
why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
