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Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest "Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired"

The teacher asks her class "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says "sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 woman what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said how the fuck did you get in here? 😂😂😂

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?" Father:"FUCK THE CHILDREN" Preist:" Do you think we'll have time?"

Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”

Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”

Condom: “Hahaha...”

My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50

When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."