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What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?

A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.

Where did Milky Way get its degree?

At the university.

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

What kind of dogs do miners like best?

Golden retrievers, haha, get it?

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?

Frostbite!

What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?

A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Are you the voices I've been hearing?

Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.