Get jokes
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
so you have chosen...death
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.