Get jokes
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Memes
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"