Get jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.