Get jokes

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D

Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?

Because his TikTok blew up...

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...

A piece of cake.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.