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A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Why did my dad cross the road?

To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

Halloween joke:

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

A blood test.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.