Get jokes
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
I was rolling dice online and this is the first two I get
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.