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Forehead

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

Son

Dark wofl · 5 years ago

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

School

Dark wolf · 5 years ago

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Son

jack · 5 years ago

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

Make-up

2kvibxs · 5 years ago

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

Number

Christiana · 5 years ago

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

Door

Anonymous · 5 years ago

----> [] get in the door.

Chocolate

Anonymous · 5 years ago

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

Smoking

HowlingMoon · 5 years ago

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

Koala

Jester · 5 years ago

How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?

Sing a koala-by.

Door

Anonymous · 5 years ago

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

Toilet Paper

dev · 5 years ago

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.

*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*

Punishment

Anonymous · 5 years ago

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.

Ass

dev · 5 years ago

So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ my titties, and then I felt a shoe get shoved all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE’S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched, and got smacked in the face. Went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF r u starin at," I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I though this this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka