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What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?

Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.

Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.

Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-

Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.

Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

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    • Yo Mama so fat that when she took a photo of herself to get it printed out, it took 15 years to finish!

    Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

    What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

    Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

    What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

    My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

    I don't like the word "gun".

    Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

    Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

    Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

    A: Fall.

    If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.