Get jokes

My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Get off of here, kids!

So 666-3629, so get it?

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

Why are girls and rocks so alike?

If they're flat, they get skipped.

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.

What do you expect when you get out of a bar?

Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

You don't need brains to be a Boss.

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.