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My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.

The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

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    • If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

    Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

    Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

    In case they get a hole in one!

    One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"