Get jokes
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.