Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.
What is the poorest country in the world?
Poortugal...
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.
The earth is flat.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!
Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I'll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million?
Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!
Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
