Geography jokes

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

What borders on stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!

What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?

They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.

What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?

The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.

What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?

One has water; the other one doesn’t.

What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

What's the city with the fastest growing population?

Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!

I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.

How do you get a million fans?

Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.

What did Tennessee?

Same thing that Arkansas did.

Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

Abo-lanche.

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?

Kilometers Morales.

You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?

You're-a-peein'. European.