Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
COVID is like fashion...
We started hearing about it in Italy...
Became popular in LA and NYC...
Florida ignored it...
And it was all made in China in the end.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
"Death to the west!"
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
When your plane heads for New York...
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?
One held its balance, the other two fell.
