Geography jokes
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a bunch of Black people in the river?
A black current...
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.
Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.
Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.
Official flag of Japan? The Sun.
Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and on their land.
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.