Gender jokes
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
Women need to be in the kitchen.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.