Furniture jokes
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.