What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
I SHIT ON YOUR FURNITURE.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
